Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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