1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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