he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
