he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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