so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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