Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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