How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
