I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
