Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
