I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
