Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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