Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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