i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
