"it" just moved
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
