The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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