New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
