Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
time to smoke my breakfast
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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