i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
