just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Fuck appropriateness.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
