it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
