I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this will be a night to untag.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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