What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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