We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
