you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
