there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
