Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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