the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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