i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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