Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize