I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
