Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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