i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
