no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
