He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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