Swine flu. Run for my life!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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