Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
