I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
