If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I supernannyed him into submission
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
