ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
