just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
