I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
