I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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