She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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