I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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