P.S. I can't hear my feet
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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