I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You are the jesus of drinking
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
