i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
