girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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