I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
