Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
