let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
