that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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