Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
