You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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