btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
