Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
