didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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